Monday, May 29, 2006

Last Week Before New Job

I know I haven't posted in ages and it's entirely my fault. And there's not goingto be alot in this post except to say parents really, really, really shouldn't let their children play around with their phones. The child will wreck the phone. It's guaranteed.

Typical example was alady in yesterday. "The little one" had played with her phone and now it's in Arabic and "I can't understand Arabic so can you fix it for me"? Seriously does she really expect a pasty white guy to understand Arabic?

Anyway I took a look at the phone and realised that the language problem was the least of her worries. The little git had also put a security code on the phone. Happily I told her the only thing to do was to send it away so the software could be updated and she'd lose everything that was on the phone.

So if you have a "little one" really don't let them play around with your phone. They will do something to it, press some special combination of buttons that no single other person in the world above the age of 12 would be able to figure out that turns your exspensive phone into so much useless junk.

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In other news I saw The Da Vinci Code the other night. Now I wouldn't normally choose to see such crap but herself wanted to go and she is studying really hard at the moment so I thought why not?
I shouldn't be so nice to her. To say it stunk is being nice about it. To say it was really, truly awful is being nice about it. It was the worst piece of crap I've seen in the last two years either in the cinema or on television. However if you believe that being bored appears to extend your life because when bored your perception of time slows down then I highly recommend it.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Booze Is Good For Work

15 Reasons why drinking should be aloowed on the job

1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of drinks.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
15. It makes people love their cubicle.

People Just Don't Want To Believe Us

It's true. Most of the time when we give people bad news about their phone/pda/ipod they really don't want to believe us. I honestly do not believe that all these people are dumb, brainless, dribbling idiots. And I don't think that it's something that just happens to us. It must also happen to Doctors, Mechanics (although granted most of them do lie), builders, politicians..ok quite possibly not a good list but you get my point.

I had a lady in today to pick up her phone from repair. I scanned the notes on her lead to learn that the phone had already come back from repair as BER, Beyond Economical Repair Due To Water Damage. Right! If the phone was water damaged once then the second time they sent it away it magically wouldn't be.

Basically they thought we were lying about it and that we just couldn't be bothered to repair it, even though we get paid oodles of dosh to repair the damn things. So they figured if they sent it in a second time we would be arsed to repair it. Not that they thought some repair engineer would have a look and see t had already been in for water damage. Now I'm not a mind reader but even I can figure out what went through his mind. At least what went through his mind after he stopped giggling inanely. "Yeah like I'm even going to bother" Tosses phone in BER Bin.

Naturally whe I gave her it back she was less than happy. But hey by this stage I could care less.

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Some funny jokes at Da Taste
Hell doe not exist. For this and other useless "truths" about the bible got to Bible Truths
Changing celebs into anime figures, have a look here

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Resignation Time

Well it's time for me to write my resignation letter. My new contract is currently winging it's way to me through our trusty postal service, which means it'll get lost, be found, sent to the wrong address and finally be put in a bin marked "house does not exist". But at least it's on its way.

I've agreed a finishing date and a starting date. So all that's left for me to do is to write my formal letter. And I don't have a sausage how to go about it. Not that it will be difficult to do. It's just that it will be difficult to do without saying anything I may regret later. I can't be smug about it, I need to be professional and not sink to a level somewhere below the channel tunnel. And to be honest it won't be easy.

So now the time has come to plan my big leaving piss up party. Hopefully lots of people will show up from all the stores. After all I do know a fair whack of people in other branches and when I told some of them I'd been offered another job my mobile wouldn't stop buzzing from all the texts. So it shold be a good night. But I still have a couple of weeks left. Can't go crazy. Really should be a pro.

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A while back I linked a site called letters of rejection, it does exactly what it says on the tin. Well I've been thinking there should be a site for letters of resignation. I did a quick google search just now (did you notice I was gone?) and all I found was sites showing you how to write a resignation letter. Maybe it's time for my vision to be fulfilled? Anyone, anyone, anyone?

The Magic Tonne

As in 100. Over 100 readers. Magic!

Well ok it's not really that great as it's not really that many but hey it is a kind of landmark and I'll damn well celebrate it if I want to!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Anxiety Attack Fun

Today was my worst day in years for anxiety/panic attacks. Typically people call them panic attacks and doctors call them anxiety attacks. Personally after suffering them, along with my manic depression, for years I would call them panic attacks. They seriously do send you in to a state of fear and panic. I remember one occassion when I was staying in my parents house when my mother found me in one of my old bedrooms with two duvets wrapped around me and a couple of pillows hiding under and old desk in the room. The room was totally dark except for a thin sliver of light coming through the halfclosed curtains.

I was shaking, scared, full of panic and fear. I have no idea now what caused it and none then. But hiding there was the only place were I felt remotely safe. This in the house I grew up in. This house was a place of sanctuary, forgiveness and unconditional love and yet I had to hide. I had a book with me, nothing special and I was serously straining my eyes to read it. A 100 metre sprinter couldn't have strained as much as I was just simply trying to focus on the word, the sentances, their meaning and how they progressed the story.

It was the worst attack I had ever had and hopefully the worst I will ever have. I have never forgotten it although the feeling in my bones of the desperate need to hide, that knwing that I had to hide,that I have, I thought forgotten.

At least until today. With all the stress of getting the confirmation on my new job offer and having to tender my resignation, the stress, albeit in the future, of starting a new job. All of this made me want to hide again.

I believe I know how far I have come from those dark days. But I know and understand how close I can be to going to that dark place, back into the Dark Soul of the Mind as Cardinal Newman (a great Irish poet called it). I am not there, not nearly there but I understand how fine a line it can be. I've had a couple of great days, great news and yet I am feeling very flat. Understand this is not depression per se but rather a lack of emotion around it it. I should be flying, screaming with the joy, I should have an inane grin on my face all the time and yet I can't get the energy up for it. My emotions are flatlined.

When you flatline in a hospital you get a big jolt of electricity to restart you. But t is hard to do this for manic depressives, hard and dangerous. Either it doesn't work which makes things worse and plunges you deep in to that dark, forbidding, unforgiving place or you start flying, ideas, word coming at ninety to the dozen just waiting for the crash.

And yet this is the problem for all manic deressives. You miss the highs. They are wonderful, indescribably fantastic and the lows are the worst place on earth. And yet we this flatness of emotion, this neutrality hold little interest for us. It is frankly boring. We are so used to extremes that the middle road, the constrained road lacks everything that kept us going. We are likeprize fighters without a fight. We need the highs even if we have to suffer the lows.

So my flatline, unemotionality is not the end of the world. It is, in a bizarre way a good sign. And I can cope with the panic attacks. But the flatline is crap, it's hard, it's difficult and I crave the excitement of the high.

Well I Finally Did It

I got the confirmation from my new HR Manager that they will be offering me a position in their busiest branch. The details do depend on a couple of things like my holidays that I have booked and also on how much notice my current employers will allow me to give.

Technically I have to give 4 weeks notice. Now there is no way in hellI want to give them the full 4 weeks. I rang my Area Manager (AM) and gave her the good news. Not that she thought it was good news but she was depressingly nice about it. She even congratulated me on it! Not that this could have been a surprise for her, she knew I was planning on leaving if I didn't get the promotion and she also knows that when it comes to important things I do what I say I gonna do.

So she was in store today and we talked a bit. She was suspiciously nice to me. She did say she thought two weks might not be possible but that she was looking at two and a half week to maybe three weeks. She's supposed to let me know tomorrow.

Ideally when I tell my new HR Manager when I'm leaving my job he'll take in to account my holidays, which he knows about. Hopefully this will mean that I'll start my new job just as I come back from my holidays. This would be perfect!

Monday, May 15, 2006

I Forgot To...

mention PORN or any bodily functions in my last post. I just don't know why I do that so often. But myself and a couple of friends were talking about posrn recently. This wasn't the sort of conversation were someone goes "hey I saw a great bit of porn the other day...".

But we did come to the conclusion that there are far more people, mainly young women, who see porn as, if not a career, a way to earn a fair amount of cash, quickly and easily for a few years. We couldn't figure out though if this was just because people are less worried about it, have less standards about what they'll do for money are if more people see sex as just fun. I really don't know the answer but there is alot more porn around these days then there was 10 years ago.

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I know I've been bad at given out some links but I deleated about 50 that I had. This was not one of the cleverest things I've ever done but hey. Here are a couple of new ones for ya.
This guy is still free after doing the completely insane thing of tagging Air Force One and videoing it. Could it be an amazing hoax? If it is it's the best I've ever seen. If it isn't the guy is a complete loon with balls the size of Mars.
Want to see where you live? want to see what it looks like from space? Now you can with the wonderful Google Maps. Fair enough most people have already seen it but it's always worth a look.

Yeaaaaa Me

I got a new job. How good is that. And it's not a worse job either. In fact it's better which is nice. Better money anyway. It's still sales, electrical goods, but I have the potential to be earning good money again. I had the interview on Friday morning before I went to work and then on Saturday I went out to the store to meet the manager. Today the HR Manager I had the interview with was in the store for a minute and he told me I got the job. He was to ring me later but that didn't happen.

Not to worry I have a plan. I'll give him a call in the morning just to get final confirmation and then I'll hand in my notice. It will be fun telling my area manager I'm leaving. She is going to go apeshit but she knew if I didn't get the promotion that I was thinking of leaving so she can't be that surprised.

So that's all my news from my retail hell for today but the hell will continue.

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I don't know if any of you care about football or not (that's soccer to any Americans) but it was a hell of a FA Cup Final at the weekend. Liverpool came back twice before they won it on penalties, thank god.
I had a couple of friends over to the house for the match. One a Liverpool fan like myself and the other claims to be a neutral (in reality he would have loved to see Liverpool lose). We had beer, chips and dips and plenty of booze. Herself left for the afternoon to get some studying done cause she can't study when other people are there (and that includes me).
So it was a good afternoon and the team I wanted to win did. How much more could you want. Apart from sex that is.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

There Is Always A Bright Side

It's true there is. I firmly believe this. Even when my depression was at it's very worst and I contemplated suicide I knew deep down that there had to be a bright side. The bright side of that was, admittedly hard to see and it took a few years for me to figure it out. But I know what it is. I am a much stronger person now. I can take the knocks a bit better. I can push through my depression better.

Now you may think there's fuck all of a bright side to not getting the promotion but there is. It has made me even more determined to find another job. Not to look for one in a half-assed, not really pushed way but to really go for it.

And on the bright side I got some good news today. I now have not one but two interviews lined up. These were jobs I only applied for yesterday and they already want to interview me. I have to believe that's a good sign, a positive sign. I'm not going to stop looking in the hope that I get one of these, after all I also got two rejections but there is a bright side.

Thank you Monty Python

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

You can here it here along with some other great Monty Python skits

Hate To ay I Told You So But...

I told you so.

So I arrive up for my interview to be told straight away that I would not be getting the job. Now just to be clear on this I hadn't finished the interview, in fact I hadn't even started it. The reason being the state of the shop. Knew I was fucked. It doesn't matter that I had zero authority at the time.

I did point out to my Area Manager that the store being without a manager and an assistant manager for so long was probably not a good thing. That the assistant manager there was overwhelmed and that we hadn't had a store visit for over 8 weeks and that maybe in the circumstances she, possibly, more than likely, should have been out a little bit more than never. I was told bluntly not to question her professionalism and that she had 10 other stores to look after. So I left it alone after that. There was no point in it and she believed she did nothing wrong. Personally I would have thought that the third busiest store in the group across Europe would have needed a little bit more oversight when they are managerless.

But hey what the hell do I know.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The Dentist Is Fun!

Ok So that's a lie. It's a whopper, a real biggy, in fact it is possibly one of the biggest I've ever told. I spent 3 hours or so in the dentists chair today and it was far from fun. I'm having the front four teeth crowned (I've already had the root canal done). Obviously it needs to be done but it is a long, slow process and it's a pain in the ass, neck and gum.

Of course aside from that having your head at the height of the dentists ass when he farts is also not good. but at least it's half way over. Hopefully only two more visits and it'll be done. And the temporaries I have in at the moment are not the most comfortable. One of them is as annoying as someone poking you right between the shoulder blades for 24 hours.It's a little rough and my lip keeps catching on it.

Aside from that not much is happening. I'm lazing for the rest of the day and then I've got to print off a copy of my sales for my interview tomorrow even though I'm pretty sure it's going to be a farce. I'm not real enthused about it.